Before anyone Screams Lazy Mom...

As some know, I recently rejoined the work force.

As my body had told me. That was a HUGE mistake. It isn't the lack of sleep really killing me so much as the arthritis. Or whatever the fuck it is that makes me hurt daily every goddamn second of the day. The stuff that gets worse as the days go by and medication hasn't done shit.

Before work, I plowed through it. I took care of my son. Did house work. The household paper work. Helped manage bills. Cooked. Cleaned. Played and became a human jungle gym for my son. Despite what some think, being a stay at home mom at least for me is an incredibly physical thing that I just /barely/ get through the day with. If it weren't for my husband I probably would be in a heap load more pain.

Now tacking on work. I feel like I am burnt out. I just added so much more to my personal workload that most others can handle. Hell before having Owen I probably could have dealt with it. But honestly I cannot. My body cannot.

I just cannot come home another day and be unable to play with my son. It is not fair to him.

Of course I grew up with a quiet stigma that if a woman stayed at home. She was lazy. Well let me tell you. It is a full time job. There is no monetary paycheck. But you get to raise your kids. You clean and get to be proud of it. You get to be home. There is so much work put into it. It is a full time job in itself.

Some people can balance a full time job with that. And school. And whatever else. This makes no one more or less than anyone else.

As for me, my body, and my mental health and wellbeing... I am becoming a stay at home mom.

People can give me shit for it.

I can go without the shiny things.

I can deal.

Being a Stay at Home mom IS my job.