Before anyone Screams Lazy Mom...

As some know, I recently rejoined the work force.

As my body had told me. That was a HUGE mistake. It isn't the lack of sleep really killing me so much as the arthritis. Or whatever the fuck it is that makes me hurt daily every goddamn second of the day. The stuff that gets worse as the days go by and medication hasn't done shit.

Before work, I plowed through it. I took care of my son. Did house work. The household paper work. Helped manage bills. Cooked. Cleaned. Played and became a human jungle gym for my son. Despite what some think, being a stay at home mom at least for me is an incredibly physical thing that I just /barely/ get through the day with. If it weren't for my husband I probably would be in a heap load more pain.

Now tacking on work. I feel like I am burnt out. I just added so much more to my personal workload that most others can handle. Hell before having Owen I probably could have dealt with it. But honestly I cannot. My body cannot.

I just cannot come home another day and be unable to play with my son. It is not fair to him.

Of course I grew up with a quiet stigma that if a woman stayed at home. She was lazy. Well let me tell you. It is a full time job. There is no monetary paycheck. But you get to raise your kids. You clean and get to be proud of it. You get to be home. There is so much work put into it. It is a full time job in itself.

Some people can balance a full time job with that. And school. And whatever else. This makes no one more or less than anyone else.

As for me, my body, and my mental health and wellbeing... I am becoming a stay at home mom.

People can give me shit for it.

I can go without the shiny things.

I can deal.

Being a Stay at Home mom IS my job.

A Quiet Revelation of Something I probably Always Knew

So on the 3rd of December I get to go with the Amazing Awesome and Gorgeous Erin to my very first Hershey Bears game. It will also have the Bear Toss so I get to raid my stuffed animal collection for some low sentimental animals that would adore being loved on. I will probably have a ton to give. Tots need cuddles too!

So I am pretty damn excited. Not only because I get to hang with Erin (and have a sole girl time while Owen gets some daddy time that is not work related) but because it is hockey.

I think it is honestly the only sport I can get excited about. It was the only game I enjoyed on our N64 and we fought over who would play the Mighty Ducks. (I loved the cartoon and the movies) Plus we would change the player names to our own. So there was some poor guy out there being named Tamara. Most likely the reason his player kept beating the snot out of the opposing team members.

I always participated in the whole 5 days in elementary school where we played field hockey. Middle school too if they had it. In summer it was the four saturdays of floor hockey. Which by the way was great.

I could hurt like hell but I would keep playing it. Seriously I got to hit stuff with a stick! It was awesome.

So while normally I hated most sports with a passion (volleyball... i haaaate it. Bleh!!) I enjoyed things like soccer (or football for those over the pond) tennis (more smacking stuff with large objects!) And most of all, hockey.

So after thinking about it for awhile I am pretty sure I will be next to Erin screaming and cheering and enjoying myself. Probably accidentally hitting people with teddy bears because my throw is awful. So I may become a bonified hockey fan qith my first game and being able to cheer excitedly beside one of my bestest friends and waiting to see if someone will start beating the snot out of someone else.

And I will probably shout out "HIT HIM WITH THE STICK!"

Now I am going to make this sick lady food while Cory and Owen sleep. Because losing sleep overnight to make sure O am okay makes me happy and feel bad. Sleep is good.

Perogie time!!!