Symphony of Noise in my Head

Had fun more or less. Figuring out a game plan if the first house option does not work out. Looking at a couple more houses, particularly 3 of them that are in nice areas and are not god awful expensive.

Which is a good thing.

I still am struggling to find comfort in my place in the world. On one hand, I love being at home with my son. That is to say, Home is Where the Heart is and my heart lies with my son and husband. I enjoy spending time with my son, helping him grow and learn. Oddly enough, being a stay-at-home mom brings me very much joy and comfort to be able to do something in an environment I never grew up in. I didn't have stay-at-home anyone. Baby sitting was not something I didn't very much do by choice but because I had to. Someone had to do it.

Cleaning gives me time to think, of course busy hands cannot access a sketch book very well, so I will have to solve that issue at some point. I believe a recorder is in order for that aspect, perhaps then I can transfer my ideas into words one day.

The only problem I have is that I very much want to help in other ways too. Ways I cannot because I need to be with my son. This is not a helicopter separation anxiety thing, this is more of how a teacher wants to remain a teacher. My job lies with my son, but I also want to afford to get him things. To do things for him.

In this economy that is increasingly difficult. It is difficult for one parent alone to work and the other to remain home. I also feel guilty in asking for money from others. Not sure where this came from, perhaps from seeing people do that so much in the past that do not appreciate it and I never feel as though I have expressed my appreciation enough.

It is this strange thing, probably pride, that does not want me to depend on others financially even though I find myself constantly doing so. The feeling drives me insane some days and eats away at my mind. I want to financially have some money for myself. To help pay bills, to get Owen something he may want. To get gifts for people on Christmas that I care about.

Somehow... I wish to discover a way... to be a stay at home mom, but still bring in a little bit of money even. Something. Anything that could help or make me feel less useless.

YAY! NO MORE POSESSED PHONE

My brain hurts. Migraines really really SUCK. Mine apparently refuses to go away. *sad face*

I feel like crawling into a small hole and staying there. The radio is making it worse... and if I turn it off she will have a giant hissy fit from hell because "OMG IT MUST ALWAYS BE ON"

I will gladly stick a fork into her brain and twist it a little bit. That is a fraction of this migraine... after I shoot out the lightbulbs of the light that is on in the other room... and right in my line of site. RAWR.

....

Meanwhile... moving good. I cannot wait to get everything settled! I want everything to work out... after I get my other issues settled with. I don't want to fight tooth and nail for it anymore, but I have to.

I just feel so gosh darn tired. Tired of trying to convince nearly everyone that yes, I am constantly in a state of pain. That yes, I have had this pain since I was 9 years old. and that YES I can still be cheerful and miserable at the same time. Acting cheerful helps me cope with it, helps me not turn into a goddamn ball of tears in the middle of driving because my entire spine feels like someone is prodding forks into it because all my muscles and joints hurt.

Anyway, reading books is fun. Hope a friend shows up online. Roleplaying is distracting and helps me stay in a good mood. Welp imma go so take care everyone! *waves*

*gives cake and poofs*

Doo dee doo

Taking a break from driving my car all over the gosh darn place. Enjoyed the rain too. It was wonderful to see and feel the rain again. *glee glee*

Meanwhile, Imma waiting for my new phone still. I want it so I can have a working phone again ;_; You know how frustrating it is to have a phone that types on its own and opens up apps? xD

I think I have thrown it about 100 times now into pillows because it has pissed me off so much.

Aaaanyway probably ought to check the mail again. Fed Ex ships at weird times. >_<

MOO! *poofs*

TURN THE DAMN SUN DOWN

I am melting. Trying to keep Owen and I hydrated. And I made a silly story. READ.

o yesterday I was walking to the store on the corner of Jupiter and Saturn and this giant marshmellow zoomed past me and smashed into the watermellon that was parked outside of the Cathullu store. Well all the critters broke loose and started to steal the NYAN-Flags from them to make a GIANT parachute and fly over towards Canada to pick up some maple ranch. We all took a journey to the wise old Penguin God to stop the Nyan-thulu army from erradicating all of the platypi living in Egypt. The only thing that would defeat them was the Titanium Spork of SWOON! The great general Owensaur led his troops up the mountain of babe and achieved his goal to retrieve the weapon he needed to stop the tyranny and after words everyone celebrated with some Steak-flavored Cupcakes.

...

Yea the heat is making me crazy. xD ENJOY!

I am not a Stalker I Promise

I just find interest in everything people write. I am strange like that... and since I am always thinking, I almost always have something to say. My brain does not shut off. I dream story plots on a regular basis. Amongst other things that would indicate drug abuse if I actually used drugs. xD

So soon I should be out of this terrible place. It would be a nice change if everything works out. Well... the house here isn;t awful but there is a particularly crazy person here that needs examined a tid bit because she goes from being okay with me to wanting me out of the house forever. I swear it she is nuts.

And if she unleashes a flea bomb in here while Owen is still living here. I will stuff one in her ear >_> She does not realize the precautions you need to take with that stuff. I do not feel like being poisioned thank you.

ANYWAY...

Finally watching Blood + with the hubby. Which makes me all happy inside. I am totally dressing Cory up as Hagi and I will be Saya. Probably will dress as the Saya from when Hagi was a human. She has long pretty hair then :D (Unless I dress as Diva and keep the blue roses... and since we have a baby the logic totally works! xD We can say it is a fan-fic pairing! bwahahahahah! Yea Imma dork)

And sad day, the heat made the fluid in my swiffer wet-jet all dried up. *sniff sniff* So I had to make a solution and sprayed the floor and cleaned it. Ah well, will have to get more!